Bridget Jones's Diary 精彩片段：
AUGUST Disintegration
Tuesday 1 August 8st 12, alcohol units 3, cigarettes 40 (but have stopped inhaling in order to smoke more), calories 450 (off food),1471 calls 14, Instants 7. 5 a.m. Im falling apart. My boyfriend is sleeping with a bronzed giantess. My mother is sleeping with a Portuguese. Jeremy is sleeping with a horrible trollop, Prince Charles is sleeping with Camilla Parker-Bowles. Do not know what to believe in or hold on to anymore. Feel like ringing Daniel in hope he could deny everything, come up with plausible explanation for the clothes-free rooftop valkyrie — younger sister, friendly neighbor recovering from flood or similar — which would make everything all right. But Tom has taped a piece of paper to the telephone saying, Do not ring Daniel or you will regret it.’
Should have gone to stay with Tom as suggested. Hate being alone in middle of night, smoking and sniveling like mad psychopath. Fear Dan downstairs might hear and ring loony bin. Oh God, whats wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out? It is because I am too fat. Toy with ringing Tom again but only called him forty-five minutes ago. Cannot face going into work. After rooftop encounter I didnt say a single word to Daniel: just put my nose in the air, slithered past him, marched down to the Street into car and drove away. Went immediately to Toms, who poured vodka straight down my throat from the bottle, adding the tomato juice and Worcester sauce afterwards. Daniel had left three messages when I got back, asking me to call him. Did not, following advice of Tom, who reminded me that the only way to succeed with men is to be really’
horrible to them. Used to think he was cynical and wrong but I think I was nice to Daniel and look what happened.
Oh God, birds have started singing. Have to go to work in three and a half hours. Cant do it.
Help, help. Have suddenly had brainwave: ring Mum.
10 a.m. Mum was brilliant. Darling, she said. Of course you havent woken me. Im just leaving for the studio. I cant believe youve got in a state like this over a stupid man. Theyre all completely self-centered, sexually incontinent and no use to man nor beast. Yes, that does include you, Julio. Now come along, darling. Brace up. Back to sleep. Go into work looking drop-dead gorgeous. Leave no one-especially Daniel-in any doubt that youve thrown him over and suddenly discovered how marvelous life is without that pompous, dissolute old fart bossing you around and youll be fine.’
Are you all right, Mum? I said, thinking about Dad arriving at Unas party with asbestos-widow Penny Husbands-Bosworth.
Darling, you are sweet. Im under such terrible pressure.’
Is there anything I can do?’
Actually, there is something, she said, brightening. Do any of your friends have a number for Lisa Leeson? You know, Nick Leesons wife? Ive been desperate to get her for days. Shed be perfect for Suddenly Single.‘
I was talking about Dad, not Suddenly Single, I hissed.
Daddy? Im not under pressure from Daddy. Dont be silly, darling.’
But the party . . . and Mrs. Husbands-Bosworth.’
Oh, I know, hilarious. Made a complete silly fool of himself trying to attract my attention.