我心想，鬼才信你想我，想我不早点回来。
扶到床上躺下，我去刷牙洗脸，
回来后关灯躺下，本来以为哥哥都睡着了，
背过去冲墙躺好后，哥哥突然从后面紧紧抱过来，说：“I love you. I really do. Sooo much.”然后深深的亲我的后脖子。
我：“You are drunk. Sleep now.”
哥哥：“yeah, but just a little bit drunk, I still have my mind and alcohol always make people to say the truth. I love you, I love you.……”
小声重复着最后一句，慢慢就开始打呼噜了。
5月30周五
哥哥在家几乎睡了一天，
我一早去实验室，忙完回来看他还在床上躺着，
一身玉米味，酒精淡了的味道，
哥哥起来后抱怨自己老了，以后可不能喝了，真难受什么的。
5月31周六
我在家看文献，哥哥白天开ASB，
中午回来吃饭时通知我4点前要准备好出发，
下午4点多回来后打包一堆必需品就上路了。
路上哥哥教了我一句话，
发音押韵，内容无厘头：“Auf der Alm da steht eine Kuh, die macht ihr Arschloch auf und zu.（山上一只奶牛，**一张一合）
晚上到了基姆湖，在一家餐厅吃饭时，
一只苍蝇不停地周围转，还落在我手上不走，
哥哥照相，说：“This must be Alex. Asshole! Always haunts us.”【照片】
6月1周日
一大早起来到处晃晃【照片】，
11点多接上人就往回开了。
我睡了一路。
下午5点多就到家了。
晚上9点多弟弟才回来，他进来的时候，哥哥刚好在洗澡，
风风火火的冲进哥哥屋子，翻找着床头柜上的篮子，我纳闷的眼神看着，
弟弟：“Where is the key?!”
我指了下哥哥的写字台，弟弟就过去拿上了，却没有马上出门，而是进了厕所……。
哥哥洗澡出来撞见弟弟从厕所出来，
弟弟把钥匙放在哥哥手里，用德语说的你占了我的停车位，下楼挪走。
哥哥简单穿上几件就下楼了，
弟弟去厨房抱起一大摞旧纸准备下楼，
我看太多，就过去伸手帮忙，并说：“I help you.”
弟弟特别凶的抱着纸远离我，说：“I don’t need it. It has been already four days. You didn’t do it. Now I’m here and I can do it by myself!”
心中暗骂一声“你妹”，我管你那么多，就是要帮，直接从他脸前端走一半，就下楼了。
弟弟跟在后面，走到垃圾桶前看到哥哥已经挪完车正走向我。
放旧纸的四个大垃圾桶全满堂堂的，
还好有哥哥在，他跳上垃圾桶，使劲踩，
在四个大桶间蹦来蹦去，踩出了新空间放垃圾，
可惜了当时手机没在身边，哎……。
都塞进去后，我想起来厨房里还有好多空玻璃罐也堆积成山了，
跑回去费了老鼻子劲儿抬下来，一副想多干点活儿讨好的奸样儿。
弟弟站在楼下抽烟，看到我皱着眉头说：“It’s already too late.”
我还以为他的意思是我在他不在的四天没扔，现在扔了也得不到夸奖的意思，
后来哥哥跟我解释才知道，晚上8点后是禁止扔玻璃罐的，
瞬间觉得自己白痴，好不容易提下楼一大兜子玻璃还得再提回去。
弟弟一副我蠢到家恶心死人得样子，
哥哥则胡噜我头说我可爱，然后帮我提回了那兜子玻璃。
6月2周一
晚上有德语课，可是书却在自己宿舍躺着……。
一大早硬着头皮先回去取书然后才去的实验室，
琢磨了好多天该怎么解决弟弟5月25说的那句话，
求助过哥哥，完全没用，哥哥遇到这个问题除了逃避就是逃避，根本不能好好交谈。
下午切了2个冰冻脑子就赶快去德语课了，
路上发现whatsapp上弟弟的头像也没有了，名字也变成号码了。
第二个联系方式也把我删了……。看来问题必须要马上解决。
课前食堂吃晚饭时终于想到了一个不尴尬的方法。
德语课下了后留在教室，
将晚饭时写的电子版信认认真真的抄在纸上，
写时有些小改动。【照片】
【电子版】
Alex:
I`m sorry. For that long time I didn`t realize the problem. You were right. Since I`ve always been there, it`s apparently I should pay for the rent. I just figure out a way that doesn`t make everyone awkward. From this month I will pay 200 euro per month and every time I will just put it under the tequila.
And I will also keep on paying the food I eat and will help D to clean his room and wash dishes as well as keep the kitchen clean and organized. Although I remember to collect the hair every time after I shower, there are still lots of my hair go down and cause problems. So I will also pay for the "pipe cleaning solution" when we buy it. I also should pay for the toilet paper since I used too much.
I know I always do the wrong things, like dirty your room, didn`t take out the garbage, don`t know the rule that too late to throw the glasses, washes dishes but waste lots of water and always go into your room without asking permission. I know it`s hard for you to tell me all that wrong things I did. But please trust me I can do better. And I`m trying to change. I give the rent to you because D every time just runs away from this subject when I want to solve that problem. I will feel more comfortable to be here if I also undertake part of rent.
You don`t have to change the attitude to me. I already kinda used to it. I just don`t want it keep getting worse. Honestly, recently I become to be more and more afraid of you. Because I don`t know what I do will suddenly make you mad. But I still couldn`t bear to see you hate me day by day but doing nothing to rescue. Unfortunately it turns out everything I tried is just make it worse. So I got more scary.
But I hope you can communicate with me when the next time problem happens. Tell me "you did this wrong, no next time doing that same shit again!" If you really don`t like my personality, think I`m a really annoying person. Just tell me. I will not bother you any more.
By the way, D told me that you treat me like shit because you see me as a family. I felt really happy when I heard it. ^_^
At last, I want to say I really really like you Alex, no matter how you treat me I will still like you. So no pressure and I already stop dreaming that you want to be friends with me.