Chapter 38 New Year's Day, 1812: I've Held The Kin

When all the bells of Paris were ringing for the New Year, Napoleon and I were sitting alone in his study.

The sudden invitation had surprised me. I hadnt visited the Tuileries since I came back to Paris. I live very quietly; but I often see Julie, of course. She gives me news of all the Bonapartes. She respects the new Empress, and she loves the Empresss baby, the fair-haired little King of Rome.

"Their Majesties are holding a New Year party tonight," she said. "Theyll welcome their guests at twelve oclock, but the family have to be there at ten. The Empress has invited you to come with the family."

I wondered why Napoleon wanted to see me. I remembered other visits to the Tuileries: when the royal duke was going to be killed; when Jean had been shot in the neck; when Josephine had just been divorced; when Jean wanted his family to become Swedish citizens. There was always trouble, and I was always afraid. What trouble was waiting for me this time?

I dressed in my white and gold robe. I wore the diamond earrings that the Queen Mother gave to me. And I put Napoleons sable fur around my shoulders.

The Bonaparte family were in the Empresss sitting room. They all welcomed me warmly. Even Marie Louise got up and came to meet me. Im a crown princess, of course, although Im called the countess of Gothland.

Only Napoleon wasnt there. "His Majesty is still working," said the Empress. "sit beside me and give me your news. How is my dear cousin, the Queen of Sweden?"

It was half past eleven when an equerry came in. "His Majesty wishes to speak to Her royal Highness, the Crown Princess of Sweden, "he said.

Marie Louise didnt seem surprised. Clearly she knew why I had been invited. But the Bonapartes were suddenly silent.

The equerry took me to the Emperors study. Then he went out, and we were alone.

Napoleon looked up for a moment. "sit down, madame," he said. Then he rudely went on with his work.

I sat down and waited. Then I heard myself say: "youre doing this so as to make me anxious. Theres no need, Your Majesty. Im not a very brave person, and I was always afraid of you."

"Desiree," he said quietly, "you know the customs of my court. You must wait till the emperor speaks to you." He leant back in his chair and folded his arms. "Why did you come back to France?"

"Because I was too cold in Sweden, even under your sable fur, Your Majesty."

"Even under my sable fur? I see. Why havent you visited the Empress? All the marshals wives visit her regularly."

"Im not a marshals wife any longer," I remembered him.

"No. Of course not. I was forgetting that. Youre the Crown Princess of Sweden. But members of foreign royal families always come to my palace when they visit France." He paused. Then his face went suddenly red, and he shouted angrily: "Polite custom demands that they should."

"Im not visiting France," I replied. "Im at home here. Your Majesty. And Im here as the countess of Gothland, not as a crown princess." I decided to tell him the truth. "I came home because the Swedish court was ashamed of me. I was harming my husbands position. I was harming Oscars future."

This surprised him. He stared at me in silence for a moment. Then he started shouting again.

"I dont believe you. Bernadotte sent you here so that you could send him secret reports. Your sister tells you my plans, and you send them to Stockholm. You must leave France at once, madame!"

Was he really going to throw me out of the country? "If I cant stay in Paris, may I go to Marseilles?" I asked him.

He didnt answer that. His mind had turned to something else. "Your husband is mad!" he shouted. "Im going to attack Russia with the biggest army that the world has ever seen. Half a million men. I invited your husband to join me. I promised to give him Finland and all the north coast of Germany. And Bernadotte refused! He refused, madame!"

I pointed to the clock. It was almost twelve. But he hadnt finished yet.

"Anyone who refuses to help me is my enemy, he shouted. "If you dont leave France at once, I may have to arrest you." He paused. I knew now why he had invited me. "Ill give you one more chance. Youll write to Bernadotte and youll persuade him to join my army."

The church bells started ringing. It was three minutes to twelve. Outside the door, his officers were waiting. We all hurried down the passage to the Empresss rooms.

There, he took his baby from arms of a nurse. The baby screamed with sudden fear. I held out my arms and took it from his. Then I kissed its soft fair hair, and I thought of Oscar.

Someone shouted: "Lets drink to the health of His Majesty the King of Rome!" Everyone drank. Then I gave the child back to its nurse, and she took it out of the room.

Everyone was talking excitedly when a voice whispered into my ear: "The Crown Prince will join the Russians. The Crown Princes is right!"

I looked round and saw Talleyrand moving away.

At that moment Napoleon and his Empress came towards me. "I wish you a Happy Year," he said. "But it wont be very happy for you. I hear that the Tsar has offered your husband a Russian princess. Do you think hell accept the offer?"

I looked straight at him and answered slowly: "Men whose parents were poor sometimes like to marry imperial princesses. Thats true, Your Majesty."

There was a sudden silence. The guests were all holding their breath. Then Napoleon said angrily: "If your usband joins the tsar, that will be the end of your marriage, madame. So you had better persuade him join me instead. Till then, I dont want to see you here at my court again!"