Chapter 31 December 21, 1810: At The castle In Els

I never knew that the nights could be so long and so cold. Marie has brought me four hot bottles, but Im still freezing. Perhaps the night will pass more quickly if write my diary.

I should like to go into Oscars room and sit quietly beside his bed. I often used to do that when his father was away in the wars. But things are different now.

You, my son, are not able alone in your room. Colonel Villatte sleeps there too, till we reach Stockholm. And Count Brahe sleeps in the next room. Why? So as to protect you, my darling, from murderers. There are people who dont want Jean Bernadotte and his son to become kings of Sweden. Yes, my darling we are afraid of murderers now.

We left our house at the end of October and we spent our last few days with Julie. Young Brahe and the Swedish ambassador wanted me to leave earlier. But I was having some new clothes made, and I couldnt leave without them. I didnt know then why Brahe was so anxious. Now I do.

At last we started, on the third of November. We travlled in three coaches. In the first there were myself and Villatte; a doctor who Jean has hired for the journey; and Madame La Flotte. La Flotte is my lady-in-waiting. I dont like her much, but I shall need a French companion in Stockholm. And a crown princess must have a lady-in-waiting; that is the custom.

Oscar was in the second coach with Count Brahe. So were dear old Marie and my new French maid Yvette. I still need Marie because shes my oldest friend. But I also need a maid who can do my hair in the modern manner.

Weve been traveling for six weeks. At each stopping place there are public ceremonies. But there has only been one exciting moment on the journey. That was at Nybord, when we had to cross the sea between two parts of Denmark.

A young French officer caught up with us there. We were just going on to the boat when he arrived. He was carrying a big parcel. "From the Emperor, with his best wishes!" this officer said.

I hurried on to the boat and unpacked the parcel. My heart almost stopped when I saw inside it. A sable coat! The most beautiful fur that Ive never seen!

"Its one of the Tsars three furs," said Madame La Flotte, with a jealous look.

We had all heard about the three sable furs that the Tsar of Russia gave to the Emperor. Napoleon gave one to Josephine and to Paulette, his favourite sister. No one ever knew what he did with the third. But here it was, on my knee!

Madame La Flotte and the doctor were seasick before we reached Korsor. Oscar and I were more fortunate, but we were getting very tired of traveling. Even at Korsor we couldnt stop. The King and queen of Denmark were expecting us, so we had to reach Copenhagen on the right day.

At Korsor we all climbed into one coach. We hoped to be warmer like that. Count brahe told us stories about Denmark, its history and its royal family. They seem to have had as much trouble as the Vasas have had. I hope Oscar wont marry a princess who has this old royal blood.

The idea made me tremble. Madame La Flotte noticed this; she thought I must be cold. She wanted to stop and fill our hot water bottles again. I was cold, of course. But only fear of the future made me tremble.

The evening in Copenhagen passed like a mysterious dream. It was dark when we arrived. By moonlight the royal castle looked smaller than our great French palace, but it was also much more comfortable inside.

I felt stiff and terribly tired. I only wanted to eat and sleep. But I had to get ready for a public ceremony. Marie rubbed my feet. Yvette did my hair. And I drank a large glass of champagne, to cheer my heart.

Oscar was so tired that I told him to go to bed. A moment later Brahe appeared.

"Prince Oscar must come to the royal dinner, Your Highness," he said very firmly. "Even a boy has to do his duty. If he fails to do it, his father will be angry with me. It will be my fault."

I wasnt pleased, but I had to accept his advice. So Oscar put on the Swedish uniform that Jean sent for him from Stockholm. Jean wants him to wear it when he arrives in Sweden.

The Danish King and Queen were kind to me. They both spoke French very well. But the King made me feel uncomfortable.

"We admire your Emperor very much," he said. "Hes a great ruler and a great soldier. He has conquered Europe. He will conquer Britain too. Tomorrow you must see the damage that the British warships caused here three years ago. The British are Europes great enemy. We all hope that the Emperor Napoleon will soon destroy them."

"But your mother was a British princess," I said.

It was a stupid thing to say. I didnt mean to annoy him. I was just too tired to think before I spoke. The King didnt answer. But he looked at me angrily, and I didnt like his look.

At that moment my eyes met Oscars across the table. So I added quietly: "A man must never be shamed of his mother, You Majesty."

After that the King finished his dinner quickly. He had dance with me later, of course, but he made me no more remarks about British.

Next day we came to Elsinore. We were ready to cross the narrow sea that separates Denmark from Sweden. But the weather was so bad that we had to stay here, in Kronborg Castle.

Brahe told us a story about this castle. A Danish King was once murdered here by his brother. His wife then married his murderer. But his son, Prince Hamlet, discovered the truth.

Ive never heard the story before. Brahe says that a famous Englishman wrote a play about it. Of course, I cant read English plays. I havent even read any French ones.

Brahe also told me today why we had to leave France in a hurry. Napoleon was getting ready for war. While we were on our journey, he wrote to the Swedish government:

"I asked you not to trade with Britain, but you still send British goods to Germany. You must publicly declare that Sweden will fight the British. If you dont do that before November the seventeenth, youll have to fight France and Russia and Denmark instead."

Jean discussed this letter with the Swedish government. He told them: "Forget that I was born in France. Forget that my wife and son are still in the Emperors power. He could make them his prisoners, in Holland or Germany even in Denmark. Remember only the people of Sweden. The British wouldnt attack us, but the Emperor would."

The Swedish government called the British ambassador. They told him that Sweden had joined the Emperors side.

"But your husband," said Brahe, "sent a secret message to London. He explained why his government had to say that. He added: We dont seriously mean to fight you. We want to go on trading with you. But when your ships come to Gothenburg, they had better use the American flag Your husband is a clever man. Your Highness."

"Yes. He may be clever. But the minds of men are a mystery. Sometimes I dont understand him at all. I dont understand the Emperor either."

Why didnt Napoleon keep me and Oscar as prisoners till the Swedish government accepted his demands? Why did he send me the Tsar of Russias sable fur? Does he still love the girl that he knew in Marseilles?

And Jean. Did he really tell the Swedes to forget that his family were in Napoleons power? Is Sweden more important to him than his wife and his little son?

Tomorrow a Swedish warship will take us across this narrow sea. Will my son and I be happy in Sweden? Im still trying to learn the names of the ladies and gentlemen who will welcome us at Helsingborg. My new ladies-in-waiting will be among them: Countess caroline Lewenhaupt and Miss Marieana Koskull. I hope I shall like them.

My candles have almost burnt out. Its four oclock in the morning. I must try to sleep for a few hours before it gets light.