PART 12
EXT. TROUTS BARN - THE NEXT NIGHT
We hear Hawaiian music. We see a truck with GUESTS drive up and
HULA DANCERS through barn slats.
INT. TROUTS BARN - NIGHT
Its a small barn thats been converted into a luau with a bar.
A BAND plays for two hula dancers. The Trouts had decorated it
as a little slice of Hawaii. There are tiki lights, numerous
rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of Hawaiian
statuary. Strings of colored lights crisscross the ceiling.
It looks like a Hawaiian high school gym on prom night.
Maggies family, Mrs. Trout and people weve already met, and
more, are here, milling around wit tropical drinks garnished
with umbrellas. Plastic leis abound and most people have
managed to find their old Hawaiian shirts.
As we come in, the hula dancers finish their applause and Mrs.
Trout announces. Hula dancers stop.
LOU TROUT
Welcome to our annual country luau. As
you know, Betty and I got married on
the rim of the crater, Diamond Head.
MRS. TROUT
(grabbing the
microphone)
This year, were dedicating our first
dance to the soon-to-be newlyweds, the
King and Queen of Hawaii, Maggie and
Bob.
The couple enters. Bob is a goody bronzed god in his King
Kamahamela outfit. Maggie is spectacular in her authentic
looking Hawaiian Princess get-up. But her face reflects none
of the festivities around her. Every now and then, she looks up
and glances around for Ike, hating herself for it.
MRS. TROUT (contd)
King and Queen, dance.
Maggie and Bob start to dance as the Quarter sings "Aloha Oe."
MRS. TROUT (contd)
Everybody dance.
Everybody dances.
TIMES OUT:
Maggie and Bob pose for pictures with some of the guests.
MRS. TROUT
Pictures of the King and Queen.
Dennis poses with Maggie. Cory poses with Bob. Mrs. Trout runs
out of film and goes to get more, leaving Peggy and Maggie alone.
Peggy whispers to Maggie.
PEGGY
Lighten up, wahine.
MAGGIE
Lighten up, what?
PEGGY
This party is for you and Bob. Get
your mind off the reporter.
MAGGIE
I havent seen him in twenty-four hours.
It just gives me the creeps a little bit.
Id feel better if I knew where he was.
PEGGY
(nods to door)
Would it?
ANGLE ON: Ike just entering the party. At least he tried.
Hes got a tropical sheet wrapped around his pants and shirt.
He walks to the bar and is greeted warmly by Lee. Maggie gets
very flustered.
PEGGY (contd)
What are you doing?
MAGGIE
(after a beat)
Im going to go dance with Bob.
Because hes the man.
(referring to her headdress)
I like those grapes.
Maggie dances affectionately with Bob as Mr. Trout, tending
bar, greets Ike.
LOU TROUT
Hey, Mr. Graham, welcome to our luau.
What can I get you?
IKE
You got something without a toy in it?
TIME CUT:
A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON
A pair of expressive pantomime "A Little Grass Shack".
PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
Mrs. Trout is on stage, introducing hula contestants. Grandma
judges the Hawaiian dancing. The party is at full tilt -- a
little wild, a little goofy. Some guests (Bob, Cindy, Cory, Lee
and Ted) do the limbo. Walter, Mrs. Pressman doesnt turn as
she hears him.
IKE
Aloha. Thats a very fetching
headdress youre wearing.
Ike leans into Maggie, enjoying the smell of her hair. She
notices, but acts casual.
MAGGIE
Where did you disappear to?
IKE
Missed me bad, huh?
TIME CUT:
All the guests start banding their pineapple cups. Walter rises
unsteadily, lifting his pineapple.
MRS. TROUT
Attention. Listen to Walter. Listen
close, he slurs.
(then)
Shut up, wahines!
WALTER
In the tradition that has grown through
the years, it is now Toast Time! First
up, our host, "A Honey of a Beekeeper",
Lou Trout..
Lou Trout stands with his glass raised.
LOUT TROUT
May the grooms heart be filled with
hopes and the brides feet be filled
with lead!
There are shouts of "Hear hear!" Walter roars.
MRS. TROUT
May the pitter-patter of little feet
not be Maggies.
MRS. PRESSMAN
May the gifts be returned!
TED
May the back of the dress be as pretty
as the front!
The laughter swells and swells, led by Walter.
ANGLE ON:
Ike watches as Maggie takes the heat, raising her glass along
with the others. Bob raises his glass like the good sport he is.
Ike cant believe it.
WALTER
You know the old saying, "Youre not
losing a daughter..." Well, Id like to!
Walter gets a bit laugh. He goes again.
WALTER (contd)
Maggie may not be Hales longest
running joke...
(under her breath)
Maggie finishes the punchline along with his father.
WALTER AND MAGGIE
-- But shes certainly the fastest.
Uproarious laughter. Maggie looks terribly pained. Ikes had
enough. He pushes himself to his feet. Walter is thrilled. He
shushes the CROWD.
WALTER (contd)
Oh, look, Mr. Graham, how about a toast?
IKE
I dont know, give me a minute.
(to Maggie)
Are you all right with this?
MAGGIE
Excuse me?
IKE
Are you all right with this? You think
this is funny?
MAGGIE
Yes.
IKE
I dont and I dont think you should...
BOB
Its a joke. Theyre kidding.
WALTER AND CROWD
(yell)
Come on and give us a toast.
IKE
You want me to make a toast? Okay...
Ill give you a toast. To Maggies
family and friends. May you find
yourselves the bulls eye of an easy
target. May you be publicly flogged
for all of your bad choices and may
your noses to rubbed in all of your
mistakes...
Ike watches their reaction. The silence is deafening. All the
guests stare at Maggie. Mortified, she holds back tears.
MRS. TROUT
That was funny.
(a pause)
But enough toasts, lets hula. Lets
start the music up.
She gets everyone up to hula. Band plays fast tune. Maggie
walks through the CROWD down the steps and outside. Ike
follows, but Peggy grabs a coat for her. Bob watches her go as
Cory approaches.
CORY
Hey, Bob. I got twenty dollars bet on--
BOB
Not now.
Bob rushes after Maggie.
PEGGY
(calling after her)
Maggie. Maggie.
(to Ike, handing him a jacket)
Here. She may need this. Its not
really Hawaii.
Ike exits. Then, Bob comes over.
BOB
Whered Maggie go?
PEGGY
Oh, she just went to get me something
from the car.
Cory comes over with Dennis to Bob and Peggy. BOB/PEGGY/CORY/
DENNIS CHUFFA: About Bart Starr and football. (Which keeps Bob
from going outside to follow Maggie). Bob thinks about it.
EXT. TROUTS BARN - NIGHT
Ike runs after Maggie. He grabs her arm and turns her to him.
IKE
Im the only goddamn person in there
pulling for you.
MAGGIE
You humiliated me!
IKE
No, Maggie, I defended you.
Humiliating you is what everyone else
is doing. Its the theme of this party.
MAGGIE
I had it under control. Now they feel
sorry for me.
IKE
Well, they should. Because theyre
about to watch you hang yourself again.
Maggie has no response.
IKE (contd)
-- Tell me something, do you really
care about Mount Everest?
MAGGIE
Its fun! Its high.
IKE
Or the sexual habits of locusts?
MAGGIE
That was very interesting research
George was doing!
IKE
What kind of Dead Head gets a temporary
tattoo?
MAGGIE
I already explained about that.
IKE
And where you ever really going to run
the leper colony in Molokai?
MAGGIE
(wincing)
Brian told you that?
IKE
Or maybe you just wanted to wear the
headdress.
MAGGIE
Every one of those times I was being
supportive. Something you wont
understand.
IKE
Supportive? You werent being
supportive. You were being scared.
Just like now. You are the most lost
woman I have ever laid eyes on.
MAGGIE
Lost!
IKE
Thats right. Youre so lost you dont
even know how you like your eggs.
MAGGIE
What!?
IKE
With the priest, you liked them
scrambled. With the Dead Head, fried.
With the bug guy, poached. Now its
egg whites only, thank you very much.
MAGGIE
Thats called changing your mind.
IKE
No, thats called not having a mind of
your own. What are you doing, Maggie?
You really want to let that man drag
you up Annapuma on your honeymoon? You
dont want to climb Annapuma.
MAGGIE
Yes I do!
IKE
No you dont. You want a man who will
lead you down the beach with his head
over your eyes just so you can discover
the feel of the sand under your feet.
You want a guy who will take you into a
cave with a thousand candles just to
read you a poem. You want a man to
wake you up at dawn because hes
burning to talk to you and he cant
wait another minute to find out what
youll say. Am I right?
Hes laid her flat. Maggie cant speak.
IKE (contd)
Am I right?
She fights back angry tears.
MAGGIE
Stop. Stop it! Im getting married on
Sunday, and youre just trying to make
me run! Why? Because youre a cynical,
exploitative, mean-hearted creep who
wouldnt know real love if it bit him
in the armpit! And all you do is tear
other people down and-and-and laugh at
them, and criticize what they do,
because youre too afraid to do
anything yourself! I read your column.
You never wrote one about you. Im not
the only one whos lost and you know it!
Am I right? Well? Am I right?
ANGLE ON: Bob comes outside.
BOB
Mag. Help me out here. Green Bay.
Right guard.
Both Maggie and Ike are breathing hard. Bob comes up to Maggie
and gives Ike a very hard look as he puts his arm around his
fiancee.
BOB (contd)
You know... Blocked Bart Starr, crewcut
... Are you okay?
Maggie adjusts her face as best she can.
MAGGIE
Yes.
BOB
Let me take you back inside, okay?
She lets him lead her away.
MAGGIE
Jerry Kramer.
Ike looks at her drooped shoulder and he shakes his head and
walks to his car